In the aftermath of war, the wounds may heal, but the scars remain forever.
- After the war is over

"Are you going to see your family?"

"Yes."

"Can you speak german? Sprichst du Deutsch?"

"No I don’t know any german words. I’m flying to Iran, I have a layover in Frankfurt."

"Oh you’re going to Iran? How’s life in Iran? Is it easy?"

"Depends on what you mean by easy, but compared to Canada, I prefer Canada. It's a better and more peaceful place to live."

"Yeah, life in Canada is really comfortable and nice. Of course, well, we don't choose where or in what conditions we're born into, right? Like, I definitely wouldn’t tell my mom before I was born to bring me into the world in that country, at that time, or with this hair color."

"You're German, right? Umm, when were you born?"

"Right in the middle of World War II. You can't imagine how terrible it was. The only place we could play was in the ruins of buildings. There were these sirens that, as soon as they went off, we had to hide under special missile shelters. We often saw people getting torn apart right in front of us. Bombs and missiles would explode as soon as they hit the ground. I was just eight years old, but I vividly remember the shrapnel and sparks from those missiles that looked like giant fireflies falling all around me."

"Wow, I’m so sorry. I can't imagine all the trauma you must have gone through. You must be carrying a lot of painful memories with you all these years."

"I remember once, my mother and I were trying to get to where my grandmother lived, we had to walk for about 20 kilometers. On the way, a missile had hit one of the buildings and part of the ruins was hanging and about to fall. Because of that, we weren't allowed to pass and had to stand there for some time. We saw people by that building wailing and sobbing. There were still people inside, probably their loved ones."

"That's heartbreaking. It must have been really tough being a teenager in those conditions. Was it all war and survival? What about being young, playful, and mischievous? Like, did you ever fall in love back then?"

"Oh yes, there was this one time when I was around 19 or 20, I fell in love. I had fallen for one of the six daughters of a pastor, you know, one of those super strict, religious people."

"Oh I’ve had my fair share of encounters with strict, religious people. Is that one of those love stories where you would sneak into their backyard, shout her name whisperingly and she would crawl down from her window and go out with you?"

"Not at all. She had a curfew and had to be home before 10. They were very religious. Her dad did not allow anyone to see her. We were both part of a community of young environmentalists and we went on camping trips together. That’s where we built most of our memories. But I remember they were so religious that she wouldn’t even allow me to hold her hands."

"Are you still in touch? (no pun intended) Do you still see her or talk to her?"

"We are still in contact. I still like her, she was the first girl that I ever fell for."

"Does she still live in germany? Are you going to see her now that you are going back?"

"Yes, I will definitely give her a visit. We will probably go birdwatching. In fact, that’s the reason I’m going to Germany, birdwatching. I told you that I studied nature sciences, right?"

"Oh that’s interesting. I don’t know anyone around me who studied nature sciences."

"I’m not usually the kind of people who give advice, and this might sound a bit cliché, but I think the most important thing is to enjoy every day of your life to the fullest. I'm the last one left from my entire family, I don't have anyone else in Germany. See, I'm at an age where I see everyone around me passing away one by one. I'm just trying to enjoy the days I have left as much as I can."

"What happened to your relationship with that girl? How did you end up in Canada?"

"Germany was not a place to stay back then. And I didn’t like the country, I didn’t have good memories growing up there, so I flew away first chance I got. I still like her, but honestly I’m happy that that relationship ended. I was an only child. I always felt the lack of a brother or sister to love and care for. This made bend over backwards to help and care for others. I cared too much about that girl as well. I don't think that relationship would have ended well. But now, I have a good wife, a son, and a decent life here. I'm not sure I could have had this kind of life with her, especially because of her family’s religious background."

"Did you meet your wife in Canada?"

"Yes. She came to Canada from Portugal, we met here, got married and bought a house in Victoria. We live there with our Son, he’s a fisherman. He has his own boat, heads to the sea everyday for fishing. It’s a nice and peaceful life."

I Nodded in agreement.

***

"Are Iranians good with Israelis? Erm, I mean Jewish people."

"I I know a few Jewish people I hang out with in Canada. We have good times together. I think it's just the governments that have issues with each other. Regular people don't really care. As far as I’m concerned they are also humans, just like I am."

"You know, Jewish people secretly control the world. They control America's money. I don’t mean all Jewish people, the Zionists. They make up about five percent of all Jews and are said to be in charge of printing U.S. dollars. They can have as much money as they want. Can you imagine? If you could produce as much money as you wanted, life would be so simple. It feels like you can't trust anything, except for a few countries. Almost all banking systems are under their control. They even control the news and media, showing people only what they want them to see. It's a strange time we're living in. You had a leader, Mahmoud something.., right?"

"Oh Yes! **chuckles**"

"Now you people make fun of him, or I’ve seen people walk out in the middle of his speeches, but he talks about the real problems in America. He points out everything that's wrong in the US. The American education system is a mess. Did you know they pay teachers and schools in peanuts, but the government pays school administrators in return for information about the graduating students every year? Of course, if you slip a teacher fifty thousand bucks, they'll agree to give up that information. Everyone has a price. Then they go to these kids' homes and convince them one by one to join the U.S. military, brainwashing them. They turn them into trained soldiers who only know how to kill."

"You are very articulate. You probably read a lot of books."

"I've spent thousands of hours reading stories, news, and books about these topics. It's kind of a hobby for me. Are you familiar with the term "whistleblower"? They are people who were once part of these corrupt systems but eventually couldn't tolerate them anymore and started speaking out about what goes on inside. Did you know that those Zionists have think tanks where the smartest people gather to decide the words, sentences, and stories to release in the media? They carefully choose each word for its impact, deciding how we think and what we believe. We live in a terrible world, constantly being controlled. For example, when I go to a park to watch birds, I get a notification asking how crowded the park was. How do they know? We're always being watched."

***

This conversation went on for a couple more minutes, and the more he talked about it the more agitated he looked, his tone got sharper and he got louder and louder.

Thinking, reading and constantly following the stories on these topics, what good did they do for him?

Why did he keep sinking deeper and deeper into this swamp? Why did he keep reading?

It was baffling how his thoughts had turned to seeing everyone as his enemy.

He constantly blamed Jewish people for the world he lived in.

Behind every sentence Steve spoke, there was a certain hatred that he was trying to vent.

A hatred that made me feel more negatively about him.

My brain was so tempted to categorize him as those biased and distrustful people who think of themselves as victims of a world manipulated by the hidden hands of a secret few. People who play victim and take no responsibility for their problems. There’s always an external scapegoat that makes their lives worse, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

But what could he have done?

What could a child growing up during world war II have done to change his life for the better?

What could he have done to have a normal childhood?

I had to shut down my brain for trying to be judgmental to him.

He grew up with memories that I couldn’t even scratch the surface of.

He found out very early that life is not fair.

And for someone whose childhood memories were filled with inexplicable violence and slaughter, perhaps this was the only way to escape this harsh reality.

Perhaps the reason I felt heartbroken was that he reminded me of the stories my dad told me about his time in Iran-Iraq war when he was only a teenager.

Perhaps if I had also seen, as a child, a human killing another human without questioning why, I too would find it hard to trust another human being.