One needs only the desire and willpower to unplug from the grid, to separate from the rush and the heave. It is the nurturing of one's inner spirit, that whispering voice. It is the celebration of privacy and solitude. It is the willingness to follow one's own thoughts. It is the indulgence of play and unscheduled time.

– Alan Lightman, In Praise of Wasting Time

"Everimaginedwhatbookswouldlooklikeiftherewasnospacesbetweenthewords?"

It’s an ordinary Saturday afternoon in Autumn, cloudy, a bit chilly.

I get out of my car walking towards a cafe to get a warm drink.

My phone rings, it’s my friend.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Not much, what’s up with yourself?”

“Look, I’m not looking for advice, and I don’t want you to calm me down or sympathize. I’m mad at myself and I want to rant and I need you to just listen. I don’t know what I’m doing, it’s 8pm now I just got out of the library. I’ve been here since 10. This has been my life for the past six months. This is my last semester I should’ve taken it chill. I’m exhausted. I don’t even know why I picked that lab course. It’s killing me. Why do I push myself too hard all the time? You know that exam? Sophia got a better score than I did. She didn’t even study that much. I see her everyday at the library, she’s always napping. I work so hard and study so hard but I’m not getting the results I want. I always feel disappointed at myself thinking I could do better with all that time and efforts I put in. I feel like I work too hard, I’m just running all the time, but it’s never enough. And whenever I try this hard, I leave no room for failure. If I do well, it's just fine, because I had tried so hard for it. If I don't, I'm a total failure and a disappointment. But I see other people trying half as much as I do and they get better results. I don't care much about their results, but they seem to be able to enjoy life while winging it. That pisses me off. ...”

This went on for another 10 minutes or so.

I could relate. A LOT.

This has been the story of my life.

It reminded me of working part-time during my undergrads because I wanted to gain experience and get ahead of everyone else.

Of starting on a full time job three months before I graduated because who needs a break.

Of all my never-ending efforts to fill up my calendar with plans, events, and things to do to a point where I was always apologizing for constantly being late.

It felt as if it was me crying to myself on the other side of the phone about always pressuring myself and not being able to take a break.

What is all this running for?

Who am I doing all this for?

Is it for me? Trying so hard for a better life? So that I have the freedom to enjoy my life when I’m 70?

Is any of this even going to matter when I’m gone?

---

Do you ever consciously read the spaces when reading a text?

You know they are there, but never notice them, never acknowledge them as a character.

Reading a text is like “here’s a word, here’s another word, and another word, and so on.”

But there is something between those words, a ‘space’.

Space does not get enough credit as a character on the keyboard, even though it’s arguably the largest button there.

Take any piece of writing, count the number of spaces in it.

Most probably, it is the most repeated character in there, and yet, it’s invisible.

I think life is a lot like that.

We write our own autobiography with the way we live, and if we don’t allow enough spaces in our life, we are writing nothing but gibberish.

I know it sounds counterintuitive, “how can I be more successful, or achieve more, or live a better life by typing in fewer characters?”

“Does that mean I need to work less? Do fewer things? Or waste my time not doing anything?”

Well it’s not that you are not doing anything, you are doing ‘nothing’.

Acknowledge ‘doing nothing’ as a real activity.

In fact, recognize it as an activity that should be your most repeated activity throughout your life, just like spaces in a book.

“Well, okay, what’s the big deal? I’ll let some room for the spaces.”

No. It has to be as deliberate as pressing the space key on the keyboard.

Same way you type in any other character, you need to type in the spaces in there too.

Assign some time on your calendar, just to do nothing.

Say no to other plans during that time.

That time is for you and only you.

Don’t treat is as “I don’t have anything to do during that time,” but rather as “I have to do ‘nothing’ during that time.”

Let your mind wander off.

Let your imagination go wild.

Allow yourself to rest.

Give yourself the time and freedom to feel, to reflect, and to merely exist.

Because otherwise, youwillendupwritingameaninglessautobiography.

Maybe that's how I should have responded to my friend.